The Eye of the Hurricane
Have you ever been in a hurricane? I have. Small ones and big ones. The rain starts slowly and the wind begins to pick up. Most people have chosen to leave because they know the damage that could be caused but you decide to stay. Call it ignorance, call it stubbornness, call it bravery, whatever you want to call it, you are now in the storm. The wind has rattled your house, the rain has flooded your garage, and a tree has fallen in your yard. Nothing too devastating yet. But for a few minutes, maybe a few hours, it is calm. People start going outside and picking up the pieces, maybe boarding up their windows again. They do this quickly because they know the storm isn’t over. We are sitting in the eye. Chaos behind us and chaos ahead.
I am currently in “the eye” that is the hurricane of my mom’s alcoholism. Chaos behind and chaos ahead. She currently has no access to alcohol and has no means to get it. My dad is driving her to and from work. She is basically being babysat 24/7.
I know, and you probably know, that this is a Band-Aid covering a large open wound. This isn’t a long term solution nor is it going to help her get sober but for now, my dad needed this calm before the holidays pick up and his leash has to loosen.
Right now we are enjoying the peace but we are not forgetting all the damage that has been caused in the past few weeks. We are trying to fix the broken windows before the eye passes. Trying to get some rest before the wind is so loud we can’t sleep.
You know that scene in The Little Mermaid where the man on the boat yells “Hurricane’s a comin!” You usually have time to prep for a hurricane so the scene is kind of silly. You would think experienced sailors would know the signs that a hurricane was brewing well before that time? Regardless, that doesn’t mean they can stop the storm.
We knew my mom would be relapsing. We tried to prepare for it. We tried to prevent it but it happened anyway. It always does this time of year, which ironically happens to be hurricane season. The “hurricane is a comin”. The relapse is brewing. Who knows how long the storm will last this time? For right now, we are sitting in the calm. We are tired, we are worried, and we want so badly for the storm to miss us or pass us but that is unlikely. For now, we just pray for strength, guidance, and peace.
I wrote this because I felt alone recently with my frustrations until I reached out for help and I immediately felt safer, comforted, and stronger.
If you are in your own hurricane, remember you aren’t alone. Reach out to your neighbors to see if they have sandbags to protect your belongings. Lean on your friends if the rain damages your home. Seek out refuge if you are in danger. Don’t weather the storm by yourself.
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