Some days I am starving, short on cash, and in a rush. Arby’s to the rescue! Chick-fil-a if I am feeling “fancy”. I can even eat something greasy from McDonald’s if I am desperate enough.
I can’t do that everyday though. Those are short term solutions to satisfy my needs. If I used these short term, fast, easy, and unhealthy things everyday, I would be worse off in the end. My health would be negatively affected.
This is a pretty easy concept to grasp when it comes to what we put in our body. If we want our body to reap the benefits of what we are eating, that may mean we need to go to the store and get vegetables, meats, fruits, grains, etc. We have to put in the time to cook and prep these foods. Our body likes us more when we do this for it.
It works the same way with self-care. At the end of a sucky day, we may want a glass of wine to take the edge off of things. We may want to immediately go to bed and put off the stress until the next day. Maybe when someone asks us what is wrong, we ignore them because we don’t want to get into it.
All of these things are fine when they are done in doses. The problems arise when we practice this way of coping everyday. We keep putting off addressing what the real problem is because we just want to feel better right then. We don’t want to put the work in that will help us in the long run.
When it comes to my mom’s alcoholism, I so often just want to feel better right then. I have no patience in dealing with the hurt. If that means throwing a tantrum, having a glass of wine myself, or ignoring everyone completely, I do what I need. This helps short term. I do feel better in that moment but afterwards I usually don’t.
We have the right to cope the way we think is best but we also know ourselves enough to know we have to put some work in to heal over what has hurt us. This may mean we have to call up a friend who is going through something similar and process what happened. It may mean attending a meeting to get some support. This may mean having to talk about our feelings. I know, yuck. For me, it may mean I need to not drink for a few days because numbing that pain is only going to get me where my mom is.
I need to put in the time to think out the recipe for feeling better, go to the right places for the good “ingredients”, and put in the work so my body thanks me later.
If you are going through something where you are mad or sad or disappointed or just hurt, do what you need to to feel better, Fast Food Version or home cooked meal. BUT remember that you are worth putting in the work for a better you. Face those demons eventually and take care of yourself the right way. You deserve it!
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